Hi! my name is PJ Yebisu and I am a 5th (technically 4th) generation Japanese-American, and a member of the JSA E-board for the last 4 years.
I sometimes think about the question "what are you? ." A few years ago I would have responded with "oh I'm Japanese." In my hometown of Visalia, CA, I didn't have a reference so I assumed I was "Japanese." But saying "I am Japanese" is wrong. I realized that because then I have to follow up with explaining: 1) I don't speak Japanese, 2) I have not lived in Japan, I have lived in California my whole life, 3) I have only been there to visit when I was 2 years old, and 4) I most definitely do not know the culture very well.
So my answer changed to "I am Japanese-American," the more technically correct term. I thought that would give off a better impression or at least give the other person a better idea about what I am.
But then I thought about what it means to really be Japanese-American. And the more I looked around I began to realize maybe that wasn't me. Because as I started to look at what Japanese-American culture was, I started making a checklist in my head. "Have I ever been a part of a JA organization? Did I have access to other JA identifying communities within reach? Have I had similar life experiences to what I see in mainstream Asian-American culture I see on social media?" (I legitimately have only tried "good boba and milk tea" four times in my life ah I don't know if this is a big deal to you but I feel like it's kind of a big deal.)
And my answer to those questions was "no." And so I thought maybe I wasn't really Japanese-American either.
After coming to Cal Poly I started to (somewhat surprisingly) come into contact with more Asian and Asian-American culture. I began to realize I have not thought about my cultural identity. And I started to realize living in the Central Valley had really limited my understanding of a lot things.
I want to talk about the Japanese-American experience in the Central Valley. First of all, take a look at the population of my hometown of Visalia where I was born and raised. About 51.5% Hispanic, with the largest ethnic groups being White (non-Hispanic), White (Hispanic), and Other (Hispanic) (source, 2018). Meanwhile, "Asians" as defined on the census make up about 6% of the total population. Because of this, the overall tone of the Central Valley is not very Asian or Asian-American oriented. Most of my interactions with Japanese-Americans were with family friends who had lived in the area for most of their lives, friends of my father who were a part of the Japanese-American farming community, or my mother's relatives and friends we would visit on the mainland of Hawaii (and some parts of Oahu).
Something people forget is that these families originally came to America in like the early 1900's.... and as a result the culture they brought back was also from pre-modern Japan. A lot of the customs we practice today date back to the 1900s and modern Japanese culture is relatively unknown. So, the Japanese culture I grew up with might seem outdated to modern folks.
The Japanese-American families I knew growing up were directly related to the generations that moved to America as farmers, and some of them still owned their farmland and continued to farm. From these people, I learned two main things,
1) It is important to keep traditions alive.
2) They were proud to be where they are now.
These people were the children or grand-children of the generation that faced discrimination when first coming to America. Their parents or grandparents were the ones who suffered during WWII and the internment camps (many of them lost their farmland during the war). But, their main attitude was not necessarily anger or resentment. Instead they had pride. They wanted to work for what they have. And they wanted to be proud of what they can create and leave for the generations after them. And most importantly, they didn't mind working really, really hard to do that.
So when I tell people I am a Japanese-American from California, I have to add that I am not from The Bay Area or the greater Los Angeles area/ Orange County (at least here at Cal Poly). I am in fact from a relatively small city in an area that you probably have not heard of, in a place with limited Asian influence besides a small Chinese grocery chain and some Asian restaurants (this little family run store that serves chicken and sticky rice is one of my favorite).
I wanted to emphasize that part of my identity even more after I joined JSA. Because if I tell people I am Japanese-American, they might assume I am second-generation, or was raised in an environment where I could still learn Japanese and Japanese culture. Which would sometimes leave me in the awkward position of not actually knowing anything. And that can be a scary feeling. Even though I am 100% Japanese by DNA, I am not that Japanese. And I am not even that Asian American either compared to people I know here.
So for now, I like to tell people that I am a Japanese-American from a (kinda) small town with not a lot of Japanese culture.
My mom likes to answer the question "what are you?" with "I am an American" with extra emphasis on the U.S.A. part (occasionally with the Oklahoma accent she picked up in medical school). However, I don't want to just be a boy from a (relatively) small town in an environment that raised me to be as American as possible (in Central Valley standards anyway). Instead, I want to believe the traditions and little snippets of culture I have learned from my family and friends can help me find out who I want to be.
Now, I have not done anything recently to improve my situation and have been more or less pushing it off. I have not tried learning the language to a proficient level, I have not tried learning the culture more than I already know it, and I have not tried expanding outside of my own boundaries. BUT! I hope to start learning the language a little more and eventually convince myself that it isn't as hard as I think it is.
And all of that brings me to my last little spiel.
I really really rlly appreciate being a part of the JSA family. I think this club and its members have been a great resource for learning about Japanese culture. I have learned more about Japan in college than the rest of my life combined (for better or worse). And I am a little ashamed to say this, but I think being a part of JSA made me realize I was fully ready to live my life never even trying to learn more about my heritage. I am glad the people here have challenged me and also given me a welcoming and comfortable environment! The culture, community and just fun chaos of this club were all things that I feel like helped me realize who I want to be.
So I want to end my note by saying that if you're like me and you're not really sure who you are or what you want to be ( I personally am not sure still hahahah), then find a buddy! I found that there are plenty of people who can help you, support you, and teach you... and they might be a lot closer than you think. I now know that if I push myself out of my comfort zone, I can find great opportunities and friends that I would never have found before!
P.S. (I am still in my ~~journey of self discovery~~~ so I don't have an answer to all the things I talked about just yet. But when I find out more about myself I will come back here to share how things are going!)
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